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A Mortician's Reflection, NewTown, CN
Posted by: BarstowRick ()
Date: December 18, 2012 01:36PM

I feel compelled to say something here about my thoughts as I view the sadness from NewTown, CN. I've boohoo'd and joked about the work I did...Ie, Cha-Ching and yes that is the business side of being a mortician. You can't survive as a Funeral Home, without generating a profit. However, that isn't the sole reason we do this kind of work.

You need to know...I've walked into similar situations realizing the awfulness of the moment. Knowing the extreme lose to a family and watch the trauma unfold. I've counseled families, arranged the funerals for their loved ones, met them at the door as they arrived at the service. Always with the utmost respect toward the deceased and the surviving family.

I can visulize the look on the faces of the first responders, sense what it felt like when we walked in to make the removal, the look on the pathologist face as he examines the little one. I can see it all and it's not funny, there isn't anything pleasant about it. Preparing them to hopefully be viewed by their families, placing them gently in the casket. Hearing the response each mother, father and other members of the family as they first view....their loved one. There's nothing fun or funny about this.

As funeral directors we would take turn about as each of us regains our own composure as we direct the service and finally lead the way to the cemetery.

Sadly, I would watch as everything unfolded and it stays with you forever.

Do understand I don't envy the funeral directors in NewTown, CN. Nor do I wish to be a part of this other then to say. My heart and prayers go out to each family as they in their own way face down the awfulness and lose of their little ones. May God give them the strength, forebearance and love to get through this time of heart wrenching sadness. The heart crying out....?

We will all grieve each in our own way.

Then we will ask, can we ever prevent this from happening again? Sad to say, a mortician's reflection... I don't think so. Each generation has to learn for it's self the lessons of life and death. Alcohol DUI's and those killed, auto accidents numbering in the thousands daily, drownings, train versus pedestrian or car and we are as we were yesterday. You can take away...well...I won't turn this into a gun issue. It's people that hurt, kill and maim other people and themselves. When will they learn?

I hope you don't mind my posting this in lieu of all I've said. I wanted you to know I'ma not as hard hearted as we can sometimes get, or I appeared to be.

Taken a back with what happened in NewTown, CN.

It's snowing.

Rick H.

Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 12/18/2012 02:04PM by BarstowRick.

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Re: A Mortician's Reflection, NewTown, CN
Posted by: srjeff1 ()
Date: December 18, 2012 07:18PM

My wife's cousin is a mortician in Manteca California, and he is certainly not hard hearted. The world can be a cruel place: "The heart is deceitful above all else, and desperately wicked; who can know it?"

Thanks for your reflections.

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Re: A Mortician's Reflection, NewTown, CN
Posted by: josta ()
Date: January 23, 2013 09:12PM

Beautiful writing, Rick. Thanks for sharing.


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Re: A Mortician's Reflection, NewTown, CN
Posted by: Goatboat ()
Date: January 29, 2013 06:04PM

Thank you for sharing that. We send two kids off to school every day. It really hit me that evening when I put my daughter to bed, and realized that there were 20 empty beds that night - beds that were occupied that morning.

- gb -

<img src=,file=2092,filename=Kirk+in+MR+18+2003.jpg>

<img src=

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Re: A Mortician's Reflection, NewTown, CN
Posted by: Pete ()
Date: January 30, 2013 03:50PM

GB, nice pic of your sidekick. They don't come any better. Pete

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